Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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