your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Sext me about skeletons
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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