very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
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My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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