absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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