Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
