does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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