i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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