:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We're too hungover to prance.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
