i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
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My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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