they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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