i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
