There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
