literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I want a musical about memes.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
