I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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