i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize