i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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