so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
You left your phone here
Wait...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
