nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
