We're like a lot better than the average bears
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
