His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
