my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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