no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
