Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
