Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
