hell yes lets make some ravioli
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
