i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize