I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
