ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
