As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize