I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
