i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
