So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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