Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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