(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
