My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
where are my eyebrows?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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