On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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