party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
