im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
