I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
