i think i have two assholes
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
