New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
