Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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