His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
