She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
