I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
