we made out on top of his cat.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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