party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
