I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
