wakey wakey hands off snakey
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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