he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
