you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
