Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
