What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
