Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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