But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
