So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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