He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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