yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst night to have a conscience
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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