fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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