he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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